How do I set a goal and actually keep it?

We all spend the majority of our lives trying to achieve goals? In an existential sense, goals are what fuels our purpose to live our lives. Unfortunately, we have a bad habit of fighting the external world, when really the arena to achieve is fought inside ourselves.

As kids, 30% of us learn to use Delayed Gratification (DG) and grow up highly capable of achieving complex goals. The other 70% struggle, perform 210 points lower on SAT scores and have behavioral problems all because they never discovered the power of delaying gratification.

Check out this article of DG versus Instant Gratification (IG): The Marshmallow Report

The thirty-percenters are dropping like flies. Our world is all about IG now. Buy it and download it now. Deliver my pizza to my door now. I will even find a girlfriend on match.com right f’n now. On the fifty thousand foot level, achieving goals is about learning how to effectively apply DG and realize goals aren’t realized in an instant. It starts when we realize that less is more, simple is effective and goals are achievable if you are realistic, commit and take action.

1. Be Realistic and Specific

Pick a specific goal, timeline and juicy reward that is realistic given the current circumstances. If you want to run a marathon but your fat ass weighs 900 pounds and you only give yourself 3 months to do it? It’s never going to happen. DON’T set yourself up for failure.

Give yourself two years, a trip to Bali (DG) as the prize with a timeline of critical milestones along the way and now we are talking about jabbing that goal right in the nose. You will see a path, believe it to be possible and have added incentive. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the simple art of delaying gratification!

Milestone History: A mile-marker monument, the Milion, was erected in the early 4th century AD in Constantinople. It served as the starting point for measurement of distances for all the roads leading to the cities of the Byzantine Empire, and had the same function as the Milliarium Aureum of Ancient Rome. The Milion survived intact until at least the late 15th century. Its fragments were discovered again in the late 1960s. A fragment is re-erected as a pillar.

How do you know your goal is realistic and specific enough? Research the stories of others who have done it on Google and you will quickly know if you want to pay to play.

Then, work backwards from bathing in the blissful rays of sunshine to where you are today. Make a list with one milestone per month. First, you have to be able to run at least 18 miles right? What has to happen before that? You have to lose, say…800 pounds! You have to register for the marathon, you have to eat right and so on, all the way up to buying your first pair of running shoes and getting your fat ass off the couch. Got it? Good.

*Now, go draw a picture of what life is like after achieving the goal and hang it on your wall. No, actually frame it first and then hang it. Framing it is cool because anyone who would go through the trouble to frame a drawing they made of a goal they want to achieve is a BAD ASS.

Important – You can’t foresee the future, don’t fret about it, employ the flexibility/patience to tolerate and deal with it. When you live as a 900 pound couch potato, you have no idea that one day you will probably get painful shin-splints. Obstacles will come up, go back to your list of milestones and add a couple more to deal with them.

2. Ask yourself, “Am I completely committed?”

If no, STOP. For now, pick another goal…you are not ready for this one, yet! There is a lot of bad advice to trick yourself out there because we have psychological mechanisms with secondary pay-offs that will creep up and cause you to quit.

It’s a losing battle if you are going to try to change the world, a situation, a person, an environment or the amount of money in your pocket as a condition to the commitment. It’s also the elusive arena of uncertainty, fear of failure and success that covers it’s own tracks.

When we don’t commit, it is just too big of a goal for us presently and we need to work our way up to it by achieving other more obtainable goals. That’s why the first step is so critical. Be realistic and specific so when you start to fear unforeseen obstacles, doubt that all the sacrifice, pain and suffering to achieve that goal won’t be worth it you can feel better that you know you picked an obtainable, realistic goal and should go for it! Commit.

Remember, little rewards for sub-goals along the way help our addiction to IG. Patience and understanding will help you deal with surprise obstacles.

Some wise and clever folks over the millenia continually pronounce that this arena of commitment and goal setting is where one can create the life they always dreamed to live…just by pursuing carefully chosen goals.

3. Take Action and Practice Courage

Practice courage to do the right thing and the most important things first; not the things you prefer like buying the latest inspirational book, a new jogging outfit and ten cases of protein drinks. Get your fat, 900 pound ass off the couch and at least try to walk around the block while eating a stick of celery and listening to the set of 29 audio tapes of Tony Robbins you bought seven years ago and through in the closet…because you just couldn’t commit.

Then have the courage to tell your friends about what you plan to do and how you are going to do it. Anyone who is negative or does not support you, tell them to fuck-off and they suck. This is empowering and the right thing to do.
Practice courage to enlist a friend or join a group if it is a common goal you can share. I cannot stress enough just how effective this helps for support and accountability. Just think…you can say together, you lost 1600 pounds!
Have the courage to ask for help when you are struggling…it’s okay, everyone needs help to reach our goals, we are in this together!

And remember, the big prize at the end of all of this…isn’t achieving the goal. It’s the powerful, resourceful human being you become.

And watch out! IG (Instant Gratification) is the enemy and it’s more cunning than Bobby Fischer would be playing a chess match on his life with the Devil himself…

Next Legendary 21 Day Epic is April 1st, 2011!

Was this helpful? You might want to check out the eBook for more goodies in the bag. Sign up here on the right of the page. Have ideas for topics? Send them in to bcool@urfree2bu.com

Here are some other helpful resources: